Wednesday, April 13, 2005

My Search for the Truth

A doctor named Quackenbush? Seems impossible, and the article about him in NEJM didn't do much to challenge this assumption. Firstly, the article begins, "Much like the giant Homer Simpson Pez dispenser in his office, John Quackenbush, PhD, dispenses tasty tidbits when he opens his mouth," which just makes me think: Can a guy this awesome even exist? Secondly, this is the photo of him included with the article:

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Not a real person

Some tasty tidbits include his thoughts on cell pathways: "The best discussion I've seen in the last year is from George Stephanopoulos, PhD, a chemical engineer." Now I'm certain this isn't for real, because how could George Stephanopoulos have time to become a chemical engineer when he is so busy looking handsome?

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Important scientist

The one piece of evidence substantiating John Quackenbush's existence is his membership in the renowned Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists whose members also include these people:

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