Friday, May 13, 2005
Dear Jost,
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Epilogue
I won't have any more use for these, so I'll give them to you now.
This Too Shall Pass
On my mind: Laughter
I wish I could share Dr. Weil's sentiment, but unfortunately today Bad Science closes up shop for good. In order that you might entertain each other, I have activated the comments option. Go back and relive your favorite Bad Science moments. At what point did you first come to terms with your own mortality? How often did you feel your beliefs being challenged? I'm talking specifically about your belief that old people aren't gross. Share your stories, and at the same time let the comments section reveal the embarrassing fact that my readership comprises no more than six people, three of whom are Vali. I leave you with this:
Disfiguring Eye Disease Dampens Mood
Because looking at a guy with a diseased eye certainly does kill your buzz. Thanks for coming, disfigured guy, but you totally ruined the party.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
It's Only Going to Get Better! (Or Worse, Depending)
In a recent NEJM there's a book review of The Status Syndrome: How Social Standing Affects Our Health and Longevity. The author, Michael Marmot, argues that, independent of wealth, successful people are healthier and live longer than people whom I will assume he describes in private as "human failures." So, congrats to successful people, then. Sounds like everything is going pretty great for you.
Also: "Marmot shows us that a health gradient even shows up among successful actors and actresses who have won Oscars and those who haven't."
Which I guess means putting up with 80 more years of Anna Paquin's bullshit.
Also: "Marmot shows us that a health gradient even shows up among successful actors and actresses who have won Oscars and those who haven't."
Which I guess means putting up with 80 more years of Anna Paquin's bullshit.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
This, I Like
The introduction to an article in AARP: The Magazine:
"You hear 'health club' and you picture a sea of Spandex-clad twentysomethings Jazzercising to rap music."
"You hear 'health club' and you picture a sea of Spandex-clad twentysomethings Jazzercising to rap music."
Monday, April 18, 2005
On My Mind: Green Drinks
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Headlines and the Movies I Will Make Based on Them
Vets See Reemergence of Dog-to-Human Disease
Typhoid Fido: A Best Friend's Betrayal
Cannabis Use Tied to Psychosis
Doobious Danger: "Gateway" to Crazyville
Grandma's Smoking May Up Kid's Asthma Risk
Hazy Memories: Smokey Old Nanna and My Breathing Disease
Genetic Mutation Wakes Families Before Sunrise
X-Men 4: Jean Grey Gets a Head Start on the Day
Typhoid Fido: A Best Friend's Betrayal
Cannabis Use Tied to Psychosis
Doobious Danger: "Gateway" to Crazyville
Grandma's Smoking May Up Kid's Asthma Risk
Hazy Memories: Smokey Old Nanna and My Breathing Disease
Genetic Mutation Wakes Families Before Sunrise
X-Men 4: Jean Grey Gets a Head Start on the Day
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
My Search for the Truth
A doctor named Quackenbush? Seems impossible, and the article about him in NEJM didn't do much to challenge this assumption. Firstly, the article begins, "Much like the giant Homer Simpson Pez dispenser in his office, John Quackenbush, PhD, dispenses tasty tidbits when he opens his mouth," which just makes me think: Can a guy this awesome even exist? Secondly, this is the photo of him included with the article:
Not a real person
Some tasty tidbits include his thoughts on cell pathways: "The best discussion I've seen in the last year is from George Stephanopoulos, PhD, a chemical engineer." Now I'm certain this isn't for real, because how could George Stephanopoulos have time to become a chemical engineer when he is so busy looking handsome?
Important scientist
The one piece of evidence substantiating John Quackenbush's existence is his membership in the renowned Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists whose members also include these people:
Not a real person
Some tasty tidbits include his thoughts on cell pathways: "The best discussion I've seen in the last year is from George Stephanopoulos, PhD, a chemical engineer." Now I'm certain this isn't for real, because how could George Stephanopoulos have time to become a chemical engineer when he is so busy looking handsome?
Important scientist
The one piece of evidence substantiating John Quackenbush's existence is his membership in the renowned Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists whose members also include these people:
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
You Will Actually Probably Get This
"Radial nerve palsy" -- sounds boring. That is, until you meet its sexy sobriquet, "Saturday night palsy." Now it's party time. This awesome rager of a disease, immortalized in classic 70s films and Cat Stevens covers, is so called "because it occurs in people who drink heavily and then sleep soundly with an arm draped over the back of a chair or under the head. The nerve damage weakens the wrist and fingers so the wrist may flop into a bent position with the fingers curved." (Merck Manual of Medical Information).
If they want to scare people away from this condition, why do they paint such a darling picture? Sleeping soundly with one arm draped over a chair, wrist flopping about? Who'd believe that this charming lagabout would soon be manually incapacitated by complete loss of function and uncontrollable tremor?
If they want to scare people away from this condition, why do they paint such a darling picture? Sleeping soundly with one arm draped over a chair, wrist flopping about? Who'd believe that this charming lagabout would soon be manually incapacitated by complete loss of function and uncontrollable tremor?
Monday, April 11, 2005
BHS
From the February 10th issue of NEJM, an affliction we can all relate to: broken heart syndrome.
"Emotional stress can precipitate severe, reversible left ventricular dysfunction in patients without coronary disease."
Mama said there'd be days like this! Just say no to expensive surgeries, and say yes to these tips for healing a broken heart that I found on a website for teens:
"This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby."
"The human spirit is amazing."
"Remember what's good about you." (Have you forgotten about your one ventricle that is totally operational?)
When all else fails, take comfort in the fact that in Japan, the broken heart syndrome is known as "'takotsubo cardiomyopathy,' named for the fishing pot with a narrow neck and wide base that is used to trap octopus."
"Emotional stress can precipitate severe, reversible left ventricular dysfunction in patients without coronary disease."
Mama said there'd be days like this! Just say no to expensive surgeries, and say yes to these tips for healing a broken heart that I found on a website for teens:
"This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby."
"The human spirit is amazing."
"Remember what's good about you." (Have you forgotten about your one ventricle that is totally operational?)
When all else fails, take comfort in the fact that in Japan, the broken heart syndrome is known as "'takotsubo cardiomyopathy,' named for the fishing pot with a narrow neck and wide base that is used to trap octopus."
Friday, April 08, 2005
JAMA 100 Years Ago
Science and Rest.
An opportunity to escape from the turmoil of this commercial world is often eagerly sought by the physician no less than by others. With the omnipresent mail and telegraph pursuing him, he begins to find it hard to secure a place for quiet recreation. Unless he can take an ocean voyage, the busy physician sometimes solves the problem by stealing away into the wild woods, his location being known to but one trusty friend. An ocean voyage has been long considered an ideal of freedom from care...But the quiet of this scene is threatened. We are told that while on her voyage many miles from land a ship received news by wireless telegraphy, a newspaper was printed and laid by the breakfast plates of the passengers. So it may not be long ere the busy physician can take his ocean voyage, but yes not get away from his g. p's...Thus by the advance of science the world becomes smaller and smaller until there will be no place left whither weary man may escape for rest.
An opportunity to escape from the turmoil of this commercial world is often eagerly sought by the physician no less than by others. With the omnipresent mail and telegraph pursuing him, he begins to find it hard to secure a place for quiet recreation. Unless he can take an ocean voyage, the busy physician sometimes solves the problem by stealing away into the wild woods, his location being known to but one trusty friend. An ocean voyage has been long considered an ideal of freedom from care...But the quiet of this scene is threatened. We are told that while on her voyage many miles from land a ship received news by wireless telegraphy, a newspaper was printed and laid by the breakfast plates of the passengers. So it may not be long ere the busy physician can take his ocean voyage, but yes not get away from his g. p's...Thus by the advance of science the world becomes smaller and smaller until there will be no place left whither weary man may escape for rest.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Some Hedlinez
This is one of those headlines that makes me think the article is going to be awesome but then instead it's about cancer:
Epstein-Barr Virus Makes Cells Immortal
This is one of those headlines that makes me think there is a pretty sweet episode of "Monk" in my future:
Morphine May Help Obsessive-compulsive Disorder
Epstein-Barr Virus Makes Cells Immortal
This is one of those headlines that makes me think there is a pretty sweet episode of "Monk" in my future:
Morphine May Help Obsessive-compulsive Disorder
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
What You Didn't Know
Bunions are gross, right? Wrong.
Thanks to the February 2005 issue of Mayo Women's Health Letter I have some news that might warm you up to our little friends. A small bunion is called a "bunionette," and the process of removing a bunion is a "bunionectomy." I dare you not to have a smile on your face right now!
Thanks to the February 2005 issue of Mayo Women's Health Letter I have some news that might warm you up to our little friends. A small bunion is called a "bunionette," and the process of removing a bunion is a "bunionectomy." I dare you not to have a smile on your face right now!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Statistics Show That Today's Teens Are Boring, Fat
Statistics show that teen sex, pregnancy, drug use, crime and other things that make life worth living are down from past years, but the obesity rate among teens is steeply on the rise. Whereas their parents spent time industriously occupied at crack-fueled orgies in warehouses full of stolen electronics equipment, today's kids spend all their time watching the internet and eating other, smaller kids. In 1975, if a teenage girl weighed 180 pounds it was because someone put a baby in there. Now I don't know what to think!
(I would be remiss not to mention that the director of the youth justice program at the Urban Institute commenting on the statistics is named Jeffrey Butts.)
In a related story, an insurance company in West Virginia is conducting a study using the game Dance Dance Revolution to get kids more physically active. Poorer kids participating in the study are only allowed to play World Class Track Meet with Power Pad for NES.
(I would be remiss not to mention that the director of the youth justice program at the Urban Institute commenting on the statistics is named Jeffrey Butts.)
In a related story, an insurance company in West Virginia is conducting a study using the game Dance Dance Revolution to get kids more physically active. Poorer kids participating in the study are only allowed to play World Class Track Meet with Power Pad for NES.
Monday, April 04, 2005
March Madness
Australian Surgeons Reattach Boy's Foot, Hands
This incident took place "after a freak basketball accident...when a brick wall supporting a basketball backboard gave way as [Terry Vo] executed a slam dunk at a friend's birthday party...the weight and force of the collapse, and the sharp brick edges and a broken metal rain gutter, cut Vo's three limbs just above the wrists and ankle."
Dr. Robert Love, the dude who sewed a kid back together, says he expects a full recovery for the boy, and continues "I'm sure that he'll enjoy a game of basketball in the future."
Although I respect Dr. Love's opinion as a man of science, I'd like to humbly offer a second opinion which is that Terry Vo will in fact never enjoy the game of basketball again.
This incident took place "after a freak basketball accident...when a brick wall supporting a basketball backboard gave way as [Terry Vo] executed a slam dunk at a friend's birthday party...the weight and force of the collapse, and the sharp brick edges and a broken metal rain gutter, cut Vo's three limbs just above the wrists and ankle."
Dr. Robert Love, the dude who sewed a kid back together, says he expects a full recovery for the boy, and continues "I'm sure that he'll enjoy a game of basketball in the future."
Although I respect Dr. Love's opinion as a man of science, I'd like to humbly offer a second opinion which is that Terry Vo will in fact never enjoy the game of basketball again.
Friday, April 01, 2005
TGIF
After an uncharacteristic lapse of vigilance I returned to find my sentry murdered and the awkward and unwieldy title "100 Years Ago at JAMA" surreptitiously replaced with the sleek and sexy "JAMA 100 Years Ago." Its content seems to have remained unchanged.
The Enforcement of Anti-Spitting Laws.
In several parts of the country within the last two or three weeks there has been a salutary revival of the crusade against the spitting nuisance...Before that time prosecutions for this offense were often thrown out of court and it was practically recognized as one of the rights of the citizen that he might spit when and where he pleased...Other [spitters] may be more obstinate, but an occasional arrest or fine will go a long way toward inducing reform in manners and morals...If a person needs to spit he can go to the curb and spit in the roadway. Of course, this is not the sanitary ideal, but it is at least a long step in advance toward better things. Let the good work go on.
The Enforcement of Anti-Spitting Laws.
In several parts of the country within the last two or three weeks there has been a salutary revival of the crusade against the spitting nuisance...Before that time prosecutions for this offense were often thrown out of court and it was practically recognized as one of the rights of the citizen that he might spit when and where he pleased...Other [spitters] may be more obstinate, but an occasional arrest or fine will go a long way toward inducing reform in manners and morals...If a person needs to spit he can go to the curb and spit in the roadway. Of course, this is not the sanitary ideal, but it is at least a long step in advance toward better things. Let the good work go on.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
An Open Letter to the Unnamed Person or Persons Who Have Been Repeatedly Threatening Me as a Result of My Recent Coverage of Dr. Andrew Weil
Dear Vali,
If you had read bad-science.blogspot.com's mission statement (forthcoming), you would know that we are not here to pander to overexposed Hollywood celebrities like Dr. Weil and the editors of the Cleveland Clinic Men's Health Advisor. We are here to superficially monitor medical journals, pick out the parts we like, relay them to our readership entirely free of context, and then comment on them in a way that betrays our ignorance of most or all subjects. So I'm sorry if the brutally honest picture I portray of Dr. Weil as a charlatan and a gentleman-thief does not conform to the idealized version you have constructed of him as a non-crazy person and one of history's great lovers. And if you aren't willing to ask the tough questions, step aside, because there are people who are. I leave you with one such question, sent in to the recent issue of Dr. Weil's newsletter by a conscientious citizen whistleblower:
"Should women who are menstruating not do inverted yoga poses? Is downward dog an inverted pose?"
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
A Dose of HBOT for Your "The Bends"
Feeling unwell? Dr. Weil tells us to take a lesson from our friends, the scuba divers:
"When scuba divers surface too quickly, they can get 'the bends' or decompression sickness...the standard treatment is hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBOT)."
You may think, "I do have the bends, but are you sure that HBOT, which involves being sealed in a chamber under increased atmospheric pressure in one of a limited number of locations throughout the U.S., is really a method of self-healing?" I admit it sounds crazy, but Dr. Weil has done his research and his defense for promoting HBOT is rigorously wrought. It begins: "I'm intrigued by anecdotal reports," and then continues with several other crazy things a doctor would never say.
Only time will tell whether HBOT will be successful in treating non-"the bends" conditions.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
"Weil" You Were Out
For the next couple of days I will apprise you of some important medical information from the February issue of Dr. Andrew Weil's Self Healing.
As per his monthly "On my mind" feature, Dr. Weil sez: "On my mind: Persimmons."
There's more.
From the cover article "Making Sense of Scents" we learn the following information:
"In research to determine which scents boost sexual arousal, licorice, cucumber, and [creepily enough] baby powder were found to best increase blood flow to women's gen[erals]. For men, pumpkin pie was most appealing." I'll assume that in a paragraph edited out for space, Dr. Weil noted that on his "Sexiest Smells" questionnaire, "pumpkin pie" actually came in second to the popular write-in vote, "boobs."
Monday, March 28, 2005
For Your Convenience
A summary of the February 2005 issue of UC Berkeley's Wellness Letter:
"Riding in traffic can give you more than a headache--it can bring on a heart attack."
"Are you pre-sick?"
"As your stamina and coordination increase, you'll be able to jump longer and faster and try fancier footwork."
"Defecation is taboo as a subject for polite conversation."
"Share your Chinese food."
"Riding in traffic can give you more than a headache--it can bring on a heart attack."
"Are you pre-sick?"
"As your stamina and coordination increase, you'll be able to jump longer and faster and try fancier footwork."
"Defecation is taboo as a subject for polite conversation."
"Share your Chinese food."
Friday, March 25, 2005
Learn Your History
Mountain Residents Live Longer
This news item fails to make any mention of the great massacre in which the noble mountain people were slain by the wicked valley people seeking treasure buried deep beneath a stone. As it turns out, the "treasure" was a simple message of peace, which confused the valley people who did not speak the language. The valley people moved on to pillage the mountain people's homes, and in the end did pret-ty well for themselves.
This news item fails to make any mention of the great massacre in which the noble mountain people were slain by the wicked valley people seeking treasure buried deep beneath a stone. As it turns out, the "treasure" was a simple message of peace, which confused the valley people who did not speak the language. The valley people moved on to pillage the mountain people's homes, and in the end did pret-ty well for themselves.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Food and Drink News
A Little Meat Adds a Lot to Poor Kids' Diets
Hey poor kids: Why don't you idiots try eating meat for a change?
Malt Liquor Drink of Homeless and Unemployed
Yeah, right! Try "Malt Liquor Drink of Awesome Dudes." Yes! Party at my place tonight, everybody. My dad is buying us some King Cobras, so you know it will be off the hook. He's out of work right now, so be nice to him. I love you, Dad, keep truckin!
Hey poor kids: Why don't you idiots try eating meat for a change?
Malt Liquor Drink of Homeless and Unemployed
Yeah, right! Try "Malt Liquor Drink of Awesome Dudes." Yes! Party at my place tonight, everybody. My dad is buying us some King Cobras, so you know it will be off the hook. He's out of work right now, so be nice to him. I love you, Dad, keep truckin!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Tip Your Waitress
X Chromosome Shows Why Women Differ From Men
Why would you read this article when I've got all the answers right here in my stand-up act?: Whereas men are always like "I can't commit," women are always like "Does this make my butt look big?"
Thank you, you guys have been great.
Why would you read this article when I've got all the answers right here in my stand-up act?: Whereas men are always like "I can't commit," women are always like "Does this make my butt look big?"
Thank you, you guys have been great.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Perfect
Gut Bacteria Use Sugar Disguise, Study Finds
I found this headline difficult to parse. Also, "gut bacteria"? This lets me know me we are dealing with some intellectual heavy-hitters. A layperson like myself would have said "belly juices."
I found this headline difficult to parse. Also, "gut bacteria"? This lets me know me we are dealing with some intellectual heavy-hitters. A layperson like myself would have said "belly juices."
Monday, March 21, 2005
Supes
U.S. Rabbis Can Use Tube to Suck Circumcision Blood
Finally! Now people will stop thinking this ritual is crazy.
(Click on the link and note the ways in which the capitalization and punctuation errors on the actual headline make it somehow awesomer.)
Finally! Now people will stop thinking this ritual is crazy.
(Click on the link and note the ways in which the capitalization and punctuation errors on the actual headline make it somehow awesomer.)
Catch Up
This week I'll be briefing you on some headlines from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) that I fear you might have missed while I was away.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Back! Maybe?
100 Years Ago at JAMA
Miscellany
Infants in Sweat Shops.--About the limit in the atrocities of sweat labor is the case of a female infant, eighteen months of age, who, according to the newspapers, was discovered at sweat shop work in a tenement house. The baby rolled balls in paste for her mother to work with.
Dr. Osler as a Joker.--When Dr. Osler issued his dictum on the uselessness of the average man who has passed his fortieth and sixtieth birthday, says the Nebraska State Journal, it must have warmed his soul to see how vigorously the solemn editors took the bait and made off with it. Dr. Osler, let it be known, is an incorrigible wag. One of his previous exploits was the publication that 33 1/3 per cent. of the women students in medicine in Johns Hopkins University had married into the faculty. After the sage editors had swallowed the hook, bob and sinker, he unsmilingly came forward with the further information that there were three of these students in the university, and one of them had married a professor!
Miscellany
Infants in Sweat Shops.--About the limit in the atrocities of sweat labor is the case of a female infant, eighteen months of age, who, according to the newspapers, was discovered at sweat shop work in a tenement house. The baby rolled balls in paste for her mother to work with.
Dr. Osler as a Joker.--When Dr. Osler issued his dictum on the uselessness of the average man who has passed his fortieth and sixtieth birthday, says the Nebraska State Journal, it must have warmed his soul to see how vigorously the solemn editors took the bait and made off with it. Dr. Osler, let it be known, is an incorrigible wag. One of his previous exploits was the publication that 33 1/3 per cent. of the women students in medicine in Johns Hopkins University had married into the faculty. After the sage editors had swallowed the hook, bob and sinker, he unsmilingly came forward with the further information that there were three of these students in the university, and one of them had married a professor!
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
The Honeymoon Is Over
I'm going on sabbatical for a short time. Until then, take any kind of drug and participate in any kind of clinical trial you please. You'll probably be safe!
For now, go here and click on "submit answers" to see how you almost got tricked by the government.
For now, go here and click on "submit answers" to see how you almost got tricked by the government.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Attention Teenage Girls: You Cannot Win
Skim Milk Linked to Acne Among Teen Girls.
Adolescent Girl, as you read this article, excessively-mascaraed, midriff-bared, you must be hanging your hairsprayed head in defeat. Just when you almost had it all figured out! It's one more kick to the nuts from a world set entirely against you. You will have to start putting Diet Coke on your cereal.
Adolescent Girl, as you read this article, excessively-mascaraed, midriff-bared, you must be hanging your hairsprayed head in defeat. Just when you almost had it all figured out! It's one more kick to the nuts from a world set entirely against you. You will have to start putting Diet Coke on your cereal.
Friday, February 25, 2005
100 Years Ago at JAMA
Sugar as an Exclusive Diet.
The Paris Temps has been publishing a series of articles on the subject. It recently received a letter from an engineer in South Africa, J. Jacquier of Johannesburg, who stated that during the late war he was caught between the two armies and was compelled to remain in his hiding place for six weeks with no food except a supply of sugar. He had six rabbits with him, and he fed himself and the rabbits exclusively with sugar mixed with sawdust. All thrived on it and the rabbits grew fat.
The Paris Temps has been publishing a series of articles on the subject. It recently received a letter from an engineer in South Africa, J. Jacquier of Johannesburg, who stated that during the late war he was caught between the two armies and was compelled to remain in his hiding place for six weeks with no food except a supply of sugar. He had six rabbits with him, and he fed himself and the rabbits exclusively with sugar mixed with sawdust. All thrived on it and the rabbits grew fat.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Bibliography Request
In the Jan 5 2005 issue of JAMA, Robert H. Eckel, M.D., explains that the best diet is a "Low-Fad" diet: a combination of healthy eating and exercise. While "Low-Fad" diet is a clever turn of phrase, I do find it a little irresponsible of Dr. Eckel--as a scholar--not to cite which "Cathy" strip he borrowed it from.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Gotcha!
This headline could have been phrased any number of ways, but the author wanted to make sure the underlying "screw you" in his message came out loud and clear:
Writing Out Feelings Helps, But Not for Asthma.
Writing Out Feelings Helps, But Not for Asthma.
